Closest to farthest, what a journey!

I never knew of a journey when you are always walking towards the destination and the destination always moves away from you. No matter how many steps, no matter how many hours or days or months or years. The distination is moving farther and farther.

The college days when I fall in love with you. We being the closest friends, supporting each other on everyfront. Sharing joys and happiness. The late night never ending talks. The trips and the outings. Wiping away the tears. Sitting away but still studying as if we are as close as sitting next to each other.

A step closer when we realized that we mean something more to each other than just being closest friends. We said each other that yes we are in love. With a very pure feeling of being with each other. We saw nothing but just that we are happy together and decided to be this way for life long. I remember how were those days, how happy we used to be just by this feeling that we are in love. That we are going to live together forever this way. Holding hands was never so fascinating. Heads resting on shoulders was never this peaceful. Just walking together was never this enjoyable.

We started working. Feels so good to be in job. Working for our dreams and our career is on the flow. And we are still together. Many new people to meet, nice friends to make. We do realize what our worth is. Motivated, energetic youth, ready to take any responsibilty. The new environment taking us to new heights. And then you realize you made a decision in a haste. Feelings are not important anymore. You find a lot of guys around you. Good looking, smart, doing pretty good in life. And then the questions arise why you should choose me when you have a lot of options around.

Then one day comes and you say you are iclined more towards someone than to me. Suddenly, a lot of distance. The dreams which we thought are so easy to achieve became less visible. You realize you are worth more nice looking guys and rich guys than me. All the feelings you had for me are now dying out because you have more people to chose from.
Anyways, somehow we managed to get along that tough time and we are together again. It feels good but then the way I trusted you, the way I loved you is not anymore the same. Now I fear that you can leave me anytime for any one who is good looking than me or may be drives a bigger car than me.

I am trying my best to get you all that. And I am not loving less. I am still the same for you. You are the first priority for me. Whatever I do, whatever I plan you are in front of me. Thinking about you is what I do all the time. Trying to make you realize that love is what a person really lives on, passion is what really drivesa relationship.
And soon it was all good. We are same again. I call it another step closer. But there is no step closer. It only pushes your destination away from you and soon the day was back.

Now its time to decide about our life ahead. Time is approaching. I am doing my best. Just about a few months and it all is about to shape up. Our life will be beautiful ahead. But now you wanted to think. Think more about what you want from your life. Rather you want me or not.

I really don't know when I had options around me why I could not look for them. I really don't know why I was so committed for you. I really don't know why I always thought of being happy together and why you thought of you being happy.

And now you say a no when we are about to finalize things. Now the destination has disappeared completely. I really don't know where to head to. It surely is no good feeling.
You do not feel like getting close to me now. Mark your words. The fascination of holding hands and all is gone? The trips we had and the way we supported is no longer a good enough reason to be together? If you look in past the road we walked on grew wider as people came between us, demans came between us, the status and ego came between us and we still walked on the edges of the road. I many times extended my arm towards you, but then there were people watching us. It was not that people will say bad but it probably was people whom you are close to will move apart. They were more important to you. The unconditional love I had for you is no longer significant.

But I am happy for you. I feel great that you took this step to reach for your happiness. I pray to God that even if this step was not so right but it should turn out to be right for you. With hands trembling, eyes wet and really don't know how to express it but I feel happy for you. May you realize your dreams and may you be the queen and get what you want or deserve.

All the best buddy, I always loved you.

The nightmare of a software engineer came true.

Are you a software engineer? No? yes? Anyways, who ever you are but you must be aware of what the biggest nightmare a software engineer can have in this time of recession. There is this critical delivery tomorrow and I have been working on this since last 2 months. If I fail to deliver it on time you can just think of what the consequences could be.

Tomorrow I have to tell the so called managers that I am done with all the code and the application is ready to be dispatched.

You have given your day and night coding that 17k-18k lines of code in 2-3 files for no less than two months thinking this will keep you safe in these bad times for software industry. You are about to save the final file after cleaning up the stray code, adding up the comments so that your code is understandable by other person, adding more log messages so that while the application is running people know whats doing on, adding more debug messages, doing fine code indentations and all sort of things having a feeling of achievement.
On the VI editor, you gave the command to save your file and you are just about to do the final compile and the test run and you see a red message at the bottom of the screen. VI flashing a file save error. It says, Fsync failed. I do not understand what it means. I really don't know. I tried several times everytime it says the same error. I tried all sort of things. Making a new file to save but it is not saving it.

Finally I tried just to quit the file without saving my final touchings to the code which I was trying to save. And then it happened. The VI editor flashed error message the original file lost. I got scared. I reopened the file and there. It was EMPTY. Literally empty with zero columns, zero rows and a file of zero bytes.

 

My two months got lost in just 2 minutes. What I am gonna show tomorrow? Nothing?

I am dead man. I am literallly dead. God save me please.

No option left but to recode all the shit lines. Just not getting the courage to start with the code.

 

Please pray for me guys. Or I am dead. :(

just got up after a pretty nice sleep and weirdest dreams :)

is stunned watching "what the bleep do we know"

Gonna watch "What the bleep do we know"