Where are the dreams lost?

Dreams!! How much we dream about our future. At least twenty hours everyday? Right? I am twenty four years old and my dreams have been changing over the time. Sometimes I change them myself and sometimes they change because of some or the other reason. We change when we are not sure what we really want in life. And when we are not so sure circumstance also play their part. Since my childhood I wanted to be an Engineer. That time I didn't even know what an engineer is. All I knew was an engineer makes things. Sometimes I dream of being a big business man. But how? I have made several plans but wasn't ever able to put them into reality. Recently I was discussing a sure shot business plan with few of my friends and before we could make any significant step we read news that some one already started it. Sometimes I want to be a researcher and so on and o

n. But this all is governed by what we exactly want out of life? Do we yearn for some kind of satisfaction? Yes. But in what sense? Money? May be. Kind of work? Again may be. Personal life? some what more closer. But yes it keeps on changing with time. Because for us life is governed more by others' dreams.

Today my favorite day dream is of marrying the girl I love. I dream of a life where I am standing at a beach wearing casual clothes and hands in my pockets. She comes, wearing a beautiful dress, running towards me and simply climbs up on me. Joins her lips with mine and

 indeed takes me to the eternity, the bliss, what we call in simple words. With sun going to sleep but still peeping behind the clouds and leaving the sky red and orange. A cool breeze flowing through her long hair. The waves in sea shouting and praising the way we both look together and more importantly the beauty I am walking with. Her eyes filled with joy of just being with me and just being mine. Followed by a night with all darkness but with the light of love so bright making both of us blind not only our eyes but our minds too. And I Wake up in her arms feeling her fragrance all around me. Now the sad part is that my girl dreams of a hot shot guy. So rich, so handsome. I don't know if she finds me handsome but I really know that I am not rich.

Besides all that. Sometimes I force myself to think what happened to those dreams I saw for myself? My career? Now I am ending to dream of the girl? Only a girl? Don't really know if it is right to dream of just a love filled life or a top shot life? The saddest part of life is that we most of the time are living not our dreams but of those we live with. Our parents' dreams, friends', teachers', relatives' and most importantly our beloved's dreams. Except our beloved's dreams every one's dreams become responsibilities for us. We have to do them because others want us to do so. And our beloved's dreams are what we are really passionate about, because we think if we do all that, our favorite dream might come true. But still there is no assurance. People forget everything they had ever dreamt of once they start seeing such dreams. Same happened with me too. All those top shot high aims of life have landed nowhere and are really lost. I feel there is no energy or enthusiasm left in me.

No Energy, No enthusiasm? Am I really 24? I am feeling like I am 42 damn!!

There is hell lot I want to do. Why am I living out her dreams? Why the expectations of my relatives have become responsibilities? Where are my dreams lost?

I have no answer.