The Spiritual Lovely Morning Tea

Every morning I wake with those alarms sounding loud and then later me shutting them off to get a few minutes of sleep more. And then Dad comes in and calls me for the tea together. The only time of the day when we spend some quality time whole family together. The eyes still almost closed and struggling to get what mom and dad are saying. The light from balcony, the hot and energizing tea with home made snacks just adds to the flavor. That's what is called the warmth of being a part of family. The first thing we do is to read that spiritual book containing whispers from the bright world. That makes the whole thing serious and helps us get motivated and to realize the whole motive of our life. Then I talk about what's happening or what's not. It's just the most amazing time of the day. 30 mins and you are all set for the day wrapped with love from your parents. Oh God! Thank you for such a wonderful life.

Dealing with corruption

The most visible problem every Indian today deals with is corruption. Corruption in todays date has reached to the roots of every Indian system and process. Whatever you want to get done you find a person who can do it for you in the easiest possible way and that is by giving some money. From admissions in schools to getting jobs, from driving licence to death certificate, opening a tea stall to registering an MNC all you need to do is throw some money and every job is easy for you. But if you are not ready to throw money forget about guidelines and process a government office has to follow. Every thing now seems like a Everest which you can never climb upon.

Ever thought why is this so? The roots of this never ending problem were laid at Diru Bhai Ambani times (I think it this way as I could make out from the movie Guru). He climbed up the ladder of success paying for everything he could and getting his job done. Today we all do the same. We pay for our jobs to get done. And if not the officials don't do your work. So, now you have two ways, either pay and get your job done easily and if you can not pay there is no way you can get that done until n unless the official is your fast friend or relative. That is now a habit. Police to Ministers all ask for money and we happily pay them. We all contribute to this problem of corruption. Government even if tries can not eliminate the corruption totally until we people support them. And we can not support them because we do not not what is the right way of getting a work done. We all know paying money is the only way.

The solution is not simple but it is still not difficult enough. All we people need today is knowledge of what is the right and procedural way of getting something done officially. Not just the people using the system also the officials sitting. They also need to be reminded of the right ways of working. All this can be done with the help of media. I really appreciate the "Jaagore" campaign of Government of India to spread awareness for voting. The advertisements were really provoking and truly speaking after becoming an adult legally I voted only after I was motivated by this campaign. They spread awareness on how to get yourself added as a legal voter and how to get your Voter ID cards made. The websites also listed candidates of every constituency so you can refer to them and check background before voting for them. That was a successful and a very right campaign.

Interestingly, Jaagore campaign has now been taken forward on the issue of corruption. Again the campaign is good but this time it is just telling people not to give bribes to any official. The intent is good but the approach is not complete. Here we all know that we are also a part of this corrupt system. We pay to get our work done. But we don't know how to get our work done without paying. The campaign here must also focus on the most common processes people deal with e.g making a driving licence. Telecast advertisements telling the right process of making driving licence. How to get your passport made. How to get medical aid at government hospitals for poor people etc are the processes every common man needs to know. The toughest job is to deal with Police for any issue.

Sarcastically, today the most easy processes are how to pay taxes. Income taxing, sales tax, property tax etc paying has become online and very convenient. After all this is where the money comes from :).

Anyways, moving further after knowing how the processes are done we are half way through. Now the public and officials know the right way getting the job done. But how can you force officials to follow right practices? There comes a need of a strong complaint cell. Now, one may argue we already have a complaint cell, but is that really working? We need a complaint cell which is effective and responsive. Must be headed and guided by a good and known authority, like CBI for example, or may be a completely new one having right and not not corrupt officials (yes, there are such people too existing :p ). This cell must be autonomous and not to be pressurized by any Minister or political leader. Police or anyone.

All in all, we need is and informative medium on what should be done how and if that doesn't fall in place we have a strong complaint cell to back it. Once this is done and common public is assured that it works, slowly the processes and right practices will fall in place. It will surely not happen overnight but still it has hope.

Sumit

I am...

I live in laptop, it has got 7 windows
I have so many friends all of them are on Facebook,
I talk thru Skype.
I sing on Real player.
I see whats happening through youtube.
I know what (google)Earth looks like.
I eat RSS Feeds and menu changes everyday but ingredients are same XML tags.
I get cookies every minute and thats most tasty.
I workout on EA sports ground,
I eat RSS Feeds.
I excrete only heat.
I have a dual core heart.
I have 320 GB NTFS stomach.
I remember things Virtually.. really too!
I do get ill n then I am fed with anit virus and anti spywares.
I am Operated too at times by Formatting (hard disk).
I Grow with every extra byte of ram I am added with.
I do go in sleep mode and sleep extra minutes before waking up.

I am... e
I am... i

I am... 0
I am... 1

I am something.. I don't know but,

I am...

Once again....

Once again I turned back
Once again eyes are wet
Its again so empty
Again so dark

The weather is good
But clouds stare at me
The smile is fake again
Its again so lonely

Tearing me apart
Are all those years
The moments together
Make each breath heavier

Its just too far
Why the urge is still strong
Have thrown it out
Still living those dreams

I have felt breaking heart
Have seen it cut in half
I know what death is
Its much better than this

Life is not you
But its meaning is you
Warm blood running inside
Cooling it is you

I know what it takes
Know how to be strong
Don't know how to erase
That thing which is you

Blessed are those
Who see the end in arms
And so are those
Waiting with open arms

Trying to be happy
The pulled aparts
Cut in half
Feels like left apart

It will be off one day
Bleeding will stop that day
I want to live that day
It must be happy and gay

Will prove to world
I am right
The right man
The right choice

Will be the one
I dreamt of
Much high
Than u thought of

Once again I am committed
But for myself
Once again I will live
The best years left

Once again..

How to avoid feeling drowsy after lunch.. I really need that.. :(

1. Change your diet. Different people will give you different opinions on just how to change your diet to increase energy, but if food makes you tired it's a good bet that food is where the answer is.

2. Eat low-carb food for lunch. You will feel more awake. Post-lunch drowsiness is caused by your body being flooded with insulin to process that carb-rich lunch you just ate.

3. Alternatively, don't eat meat, at least not for lunch. Some people are very certain about the connection between meat and being tired.)

4. Avoid caffeine and processed sugars. (Caffeine gives you an energy boost, followed by a crash that is hard to recover from. Processed sugars are too easily absorbed by the body and tend to pass right through you, burning up quickly and leaving your body starved for energy.)

5. Eat a nutritional lunch, high in vitamins. Vitamins help make your body healthy, and can help you feel healthy and energised.

6. Don't overeat. A small meal should not make you drowsy.

7. Eat many, smaller portions. Snack on healthy food throughout the day instead of eating a lot at once.

8. Do some light exercise after lunch. Use the stairs instead of the elevator, do a few jumping jacks in the restroom, whatever you can think of. This will help get your blood flowing and will reduce fatigue.

9. Get plenty of sleep at night. Even if you have a low spot in the afternoon, it won't be as low if you are well rested.

10. Notice what habits make you sleepy. Write down whether you feel drowsy. Then, write down what you ate, whether you exercised, how well you slept, and any other factors that might have been involved. Then, look for patterns and avoid any habits that cause problems.

Ways to sleep in office.. tip #1 :)

Open a work description on the laptop, code screen on desktop. Hold a notepad in your one hand and rest your head on second and you are set to sleep.. :)
Don't forget to point your back towards cubical entrance :p
Sweet dreams :)

I am weak, I can't be strong

I don’t have to be weak,
As she lost someone who loved her so dearly.

I can’t afford to be weak
this will make her realize she still can hurt me

I should not be weak
I have a life ahead to live

I have to be strong
To face the world

I got to be strong
To keep on moving

I should be strong
To tell the world, I can live

but I am weak, I can’t be strong
Body without soul is not alive.

Closest to farthest, what a journey!

I never knew of a journey when you are always walking towards the destination and the destination always moves away from you. No matter how many steps, no matter how many hours or days or months or years. The distination is moving farther and farther.

The college days when I fall in love with you. We being the closest friends, supporting each other on everyfront. Sharing joys and happiness. The late night never ending talks. The trips and the outings. Wiping away the tears. Sitting away but still studying as if we are as close as sitting next to each other.

A step closer when we realized that we mean something more to each other than just being closest friends. We said each other that yes we are in love. With a very pure feeling of being with each other. We saw nothing but just that we are happy together and decided to be this way for life long. I remember how were those days, how happy we used to be just by this feeling that we are in love. That we are going to live together forever this way. Holding hands was never so fascinating. Heads resting on shoulders was never this peaceful. Just walking together was never this enjoyable.

We started working. Feels so good to be in job. Working for our dreams and our career is on the flow. And we are still together. Many new people to meet, nice friends to make. We do realize what our worth is. Motivated, energetic youth, ready to take any responsibilty. The new environment taking us to new heights. And then you realize you made a decision in a haste. Feelings are not important anymore. You find a lot of guys around you. Good looking, smart, doing pretty good in life. And then the questions arise why you should choose me when you have a lot of options around.

Then one day comes and you say you are iclined more towards someone than to me. Suddenly, a lot of distance. The dreams which we thought are so easy to achieve became less visible. You realize you are worth more nice looking guys and rich guys than me. All the feelings you had for me are now dying out because you have more people to chose from.
Anyways, somehow we managed to get along that tough time and we are together again. It feels good but then the way I trusted you, the way I loved you is not anymore the same. Now I fear that you can leave me anytime for any one who is good looking than me or may be drives a bigger car than me.

I am trying my best to get you all that. And I am not loving less. I am still the same for you. You are the first priority for me. Whatever I do, whatever I plan you are in front of me. Thinking about you is what I do all the time. Trying to make you realize that love is what a person really lives on, passion is what really drivesa relationship.
And soon it was all good. We are same again. I call it another step closer. But there is no step closer. It only pushes your destination away from you and soon the day was back.

Now its time to decide about our life ahead. Time is approaching. I am doing my best. Just about a few months and it all is about to shape up. Our life will be beautiful ahead. But now you wanted to think. Think more about what you want from your life. Rather you want me or not.

I really don't know when I had options around me why I could not look for them. I really don't know why I was so committed for you. I really don't know why I always thought of being happy together and why you thought of you being happy.

And now you say a no when we are about to finalize things. Now the destination has disappeared completely. I really don't know where to head to. It surely is no good feeling.
You do not feel like getting close to me now. Mark your words. The fascination of holding hands and all is gone? The trips we had and the way we supported is no longer a good enough reason to be together? If you look in past the road we walked on grew wider as people came between us, demans came between us, the status and ego came between us and we still walked on the edges of the road. I many times extended my arm towards you, but then there were people watching us. It was not that people will say bad but it probably was people whom you are close to will move apart. They were more important to you. The unconditional love I had for you is no longer significant.

But I am happy for you. I feel great that you took this step to reach for your happiness. I pray to God that even if this step was not so right but it should turn out to be right for you. With hands trembling, eyes wet and really don't know how to express it but I feel happy for you. May you realize your dreams and may you be the queen and get what you want or deserve.

All the best buddy, I always loved you.

The nightmare of a software engineer came true.

Are you a software engineer? No? yes? Anyways, who ever you are but you must be aware of what the biggest nightmare a software engineer can have in this time of recession. There is this critical delivery tomorrow and I have been working on this since last 2 months. If I fail to deliver it on time you can just think of what the consequences could be.

Tomorrow I have to tell the so called managers that I am done with all the code and the application is ready to be dispatched.

You have given your day and night coding that 17k-18k lines of code in 2-3 files for no less than two months thinking this will keep you safe in these bad times for software industry. You are about to save the final file after cleaning up the stray code, adding up the comments so that your code is understandable by other person, adding more log messages so that while the application is running people know whats doing on, adding more debug messages, doing fine code indentations and all sort of things having a feeling of achievement.
On the VI editor, you gave the command to save your file and you are just about to do the final compile and the test run and you see a red message at the bottom of the screen. VI flashing a file save error. It says, Fsync failed. I do not understand what it means. I really don't know. I tried several times everytime it says the same error. I tried all sort of things. Making a new file to save but it is not saving it.

Finally I tried just to quit the file without saving my final touchings to the code which I was trying to save. And then it happened. The VI editor flashed error message the original file lost. I got scared. I reopened the file and there. It was EMPTY. Literally empty with zero columns, zero rows and a file of zero bytes.

 

My two months got lost in just 2 minutes. What I am gonna show tomorrow? Nothing?

I am dead man. I am literallly dead. God save me please.

No option left but to recode all the shit lines. Just not getting the courage to start with the code.

 

Please pray for me guys. Or I am dead. :(

just got up after a pretty nice sleep and weirdest dreams :)

is stunned watching "what the bleep do we know"

Gonna watch "What the bleep do we know"

In the moon light!!

We are in Goa on a trip. After all day of fun and excitement we are resting in our hotel room. Our group of ten people just lying in a single room on a single bed occupying the minimum space we could find. Slowly slowly everyone is falling asleep. She is lying next to me. Holding my hand. I just get up from the bed and go to the balcony. Our room is on the first floor. The balcony faces the beach. The sound of sea waves can be clearly heard. The bright moon is illuminating everything on the earth. A big swing is there in the balcony. I am sitting on it gazing the beauty if pine trees and enjoying the flow of wind. I took my cellphone out of my pocket and called my girl out too.

As she entered the balcony she was equally amazed to see the beauty of night.

She sat next to me on the swing. We held our hands again. I sat more close to her. Our body edges touching. She is feeling cold. I brought her a blanket from inside. We both sat covered with the same blanket. She rested her head on my shoulder and my arm is now enclosing her, keeping her tightly bound to me. I won't leave her ever.

We just sleep this way in the moon light in each other's arms.

Reaching out for stars!

Just in a flash of a second I saw myself sitting on a bench in a park.  My girl sitting next to me. My hand on her shoulder and her head on mine. Both quite, no words coming out. Looking upto stars in the sky constantly.

I ask my girl, 

"Do you see the stars?"

"yes"

"Do you see yourself among them?"

"mmmmm, yes"

"Where?"

"Aah! that big one." Pointing to one apparantly biggest and brightest star we could see that night up in the sky.

I am again silent. 

And then she asks, "Which one is you?"

I said, " I am no star."

"Oh Come on, pick one for yourself!"

I said, " I am no star, I am just a man."

"A man who can just sit far away and praise the beauty of the stars. A man who can just dream of reaching out for star. But he knows he can never. Even if he tries he will get burnt if he gets close to any star. He just can't. I just can't"

Quite for a second.

"I am that man and you are that star"

Girl is mum. No words at all. She just picks her head up from my shoulder and see the tears solling down my eyes.

I just looked at her for a while. I took her face in both of my hands and bringing her face close to mine. I kiss her forehead.  That was one deep kiss.

I stand up. Looked at the sky. Pointing to the star the girl chose I again looked at her.

and after a while.

I walk away!!

Where are the dreams lost?

Dreams!! How much we dream about our future. At least twenty hours everyday? Right? I am twenty four years old and my dreams have been changing over the time. Sometimes I change them myself and sometimes they change because of some or the other reason. We change when we are not sure what we really want in life. And when we are not so sure circumstance also play their part. Since my childhood I wanted to be an Engineer. That time I didn't even know what an engineer is. All I knew was an engineer makes things. Sometimes I dream of being a big business man. But how? I have made several plans but wasn't ever able to put them into reality. Recently I was discussing a sure shot business plan with few of my friends and before we could make any significant step we read news that some one already started it. Sometimes I want to be a researcher and so on and o

n. But this all is governed by what we exactly want out of life? Do we yearn for some kind of satisfaction? Yes. But in what sense? Money? May be. Kind of work? Again may be. Personal life? some what more closer. But yes it keeps on changing with time. Because for us life is governed more by others' dreams.

Today my favorite day dream is of marrying the girl I love. I dream of a life where I am standing at a beach wearing casual clothes and hands in my pockets. She comes, wearing a beautiful dress, running towards me and simply climbs up on me. Joins her lips with mine and

 indeed takes me to the eternity, the bliss, what we call in simple words. With sun going to sleep but still peeping behind the clouds and leaving the sky red and orange. A cool breeze flowing through her long hair. The waves in sea shouting and praising the way we both look together and more importantly the beauty I am walking with. Her eyes filled with joy of just being with me and just being mine. Followed by a night with all darkness but with the light of love so bright making both of us blind not only our eyes but our minds too. And I Wake up in her arms feeling her fragrance all around me. Now the sad part is that my girl dreams of a hot shot guy. So rich, so handsome. I don't know if she finds me handsome but I really know that I am not rich.

Besides all that. Sometimes I force myself to think what happened to those dreams I saw for myself? My career? Now I am ending to dream of the girl? Only a girl? Don't really know if it is right to dream of just a love filled life or a top shot life? The saddest part of life is that we most of the time are living not our dreams but of those we live with. Our parents' dreams, friends', teachers', relatives' and most importantly our beloved's dreams. Except our beloved's dreams every one's dreams become responsibilities for us. We have to do them because others want us to do so. And our beloved's dreams are what we are really passionate about, because we think if we do all that, our favorite dream might come true. But still there is no assurance. People forget everything they had ever dreamt of once they start seeing such dreams. Same happened with me too. All those top shot high aims of life have landed nowhere and are really lost. I feel there is no energy or enthusiasm left in me.

No Energy, No enthusiasm? Am I really 24? I am feeling like I am 42 damn!!

There is hell lot I want to do. Why am I living out her dreams? Why the expectations of my relatives have become responsibilities? Where are my dreams lost?

I have no answer.

Blacks and Blues

Well, before I actually start writing anything meaningfull, I just want to share why I chose this name for blog. Just like life has several colors but we see only a few from which we go through. Similarly I have gone through a life which is at times either black or blue.
Black and Blue. Now it may give you a thought that these two colors are my favorite or they kinda have a particular significance in my life. If yes, then you might be right :). Yes, the two colors are my favorite but if we have to talk about their significance then I do not think I have much to share. After all they are just two colors. Also, it is not just that I had to chose two colors so I chose black and blue which are my personal favorite but they got to possess some meaning which should reflect what I want to write in this blog.
Black represents darkness. Something which is hidden. Which you don't know. It is a kind of knowledge which you don't know what it is but it surely is something. Something you want to know but you don't what you want to know. I might be sounding crazy but in most simpler words if I had to tell why black would be that black represnts the dark part of the life. The dark part contains all which you don't know. At some point of time you fail to find reasons for something, and those reasons are the ones which are black. Anyone in this world has a black side in his or her life. They live in a color but yet they have a black side which they do not understand a single moment of it. But once they realize that there is a black side and they can remove it only by knowing things that they don't, they try all sort of things and that eventually brings them to a point where some of those things become clearer to be viewed and investigated further. A kind of ray of hope you can say, but that ray of hope turns some portion of black to blue.
Blue is a stage when you know something about something but you don't know it completely. Even when you don't know it completely it is like you feel you know it better than others and you feel its white. White I mean to say when you know everything. Blue captures most of the attention in life. You know something you feel good about it, proud and what not. But at the end of the day its you knowing far less than what it is and you misinterpret things and land up in difficult situations to face.
Well now its getting clumsy. I certainly not hope that I have made you understand what I wanted to say but if you have got my point, its truly great :)
Last but not the least. I want to say whatever color may we be living in, be it the brightest or the dullest, there are thing which are black and blue to us. We can not remove blacks and blues. And that brings me to start this blog in which I can write things which are black and blue to me. Life as I see it, as I feel it and as I live it. You might get certain answers for you and I may arise some questions for you but lets hope for the best :)

May God Bless..